The State of the Stevo Address

Catchy title, huh?

Noteworthy is that each time I open WordPress on my computer, there seems to be an update available.

Having the app available on my computer makes me a happy camper, though. When I first started blogging on WordPress years ago, the WordPress app for Mac didn’t exist, so I had to use crappy third-party apps that enjoyed destroying formatting or not uploading photos.

Progress in technology is a welcome thing.

Here in Florida, a Tropical Depression is causing a great deal of rain to fall and flood our lawn. The good news is that it’s cooled things down; the bad news is that I don’t like being cold. Of course, it isn’t that cold. It’s Florida, and we didn’t have a real winter this past year. But I have to say, it’s summer now, and I love summer. I feel more alive right now than I have in ages.

The real question is, why?

I’ve felt healthier and more energetic, not at 100%, mind you, but I feel generally better than I have in ages. I’m happier with my life right now than I’ve probably ever been, nevermind the bizarre moments of nostalgia for eras that saw me with a greater deal of distress.

I’ve more recently been joining the local Pagan community for their rituals. In addition, I joined the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship I’ve attended for years. Maybe I mentioned all this in another blog, but that’s how long it’s been since I’ve written.

So I’ve wondered if community has had anything to do with my health and happiness; in fact, I think it may be part of the key. I’m making my way through the internal barriers, crossing the borders that I’ve built up over the years because time and again when I let people into my life, I let people get to know me, I allowed myself to love and trust someone, they stabbed me right in my fragile heart.

Turns out, many people in the past were only interested in hurting me and not in being my friend.

Maybe it’s too soon to tell, or maybe I’ve simply been able to find that the boundaries that exist for me aren’t all on one front or the same- healthy boundaries are selectively permeable and are adjusted according to time, place, and person.

When you go from a world full of Republican-voting Christians who hate you for existing to a world full of Democrat-voting (mostly) non-Christians who love you for existing, it takes time for your self-esteem to catch up. That may be a generalization, but it’s an approximation that’s damned near close to accurate.

As it turns out, in times past, I may not have been struggling with low self-esteem so much as I was just surrounded by assholes (as the meme goes).

Well, those assholes can go fuck themselves.

I welcome this new world of growing self-esteem and happiness.

Steve

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