After great conversations and finding sympathetic views, I’m left to my own thoughts.
One of my friends recommended that my dealing with anxiety will come from physical activity- whether cleaning or volunteering or what have you. He said that I shouldn’t worry about the creative aspect (not that he’s suggesting ignoring it); I should instead do something more physical, more with my body, and I’m inclined to agree.
At some point in life, we have to begin to rely on ourselves. No, I don’t mean this in the way that some people mean it- being independent from everyone else, the whole American way of self-reliance and so on. I mean more on a psychological level.
At some point, when it comes to religion and spirituality, when it comes to our worldview, when it comes to the foundational beliefs we hold about the world and our society, we have to take it upon ourselves to face certain truths about our upbringing and challenge those things, research them, to see if there’s a solid basis for such perspectives.
This is an enormous task. Enormous. Anyone who is brave enough to begin such a quest has my kudos.
Many people don’t worry about this quest because the functional, practical levels of life- their cycle of working, paying bills, and so on- is enough for them, and that is as it should be. No one should be forced to think more deeply.
Or should they?
And of course, that assumes that people who obtained their jobs without a lot of anxiety and who are able to pay their bills without a lot of anxiety aren’t necessarily also deep thinkers- which isn’t true. There’s not a true correlation here.
One problem I see is that sometimes our experiences are more unique and aren’t shared by others- the unique experiences need to have other people who understand them in order for the individual to make sense of them. Otherwise, we end up with people circling us and telling us to grow up or that we’re making a big deal out of nothing or what have you.
Anyway, I’m somewhere between grouchy, tired, and disempowered.