Until I met my husband, I was single for every Valentine’s Day in my life. Sure, I dated people, but the dating never coincided with Valentine’s Day.
A piece of advice I would offer my depressed, adolescent, single high school self: it’s okay if you’re not dating anyone on Valentine’s Day as the majority of those high school relationships are not going to endure for a lifetime and result in a happy marriage. They just aren’t.
Sometimes I feel like my deprivation of dating and having any kind of relationship until college really helped me appreciate what it means to have a companion. On the other hand, maybe that lack of ever having someone meant that I learned too late how idiotic and cruel other people can be in the world of romance and dating.
Elementary school was also a horrible time for Valentine’s Day because it was always, always obvious that even though we were required to give all classmates a Valentine’s Day card, some people received less and some people received more, and there was nothing the teachers could do (or would do) about it, because of course to adults the idea that one grade school-aged kid received more Valentine’s Day cards ranks pretty low on in the hierarchy of concerns about life, whereas to the kids it’s the raw social battleground of acceptance, rejection, and self-like or self-spite.
The lack of celebrating Valentine’s Day all those years in high school and beyond resulted in my having a bleak sense of this time of year even now. I love my husband, yes, and we’ve enjoyed our time together. However, I think that it’s an good excuse to treat yourself if you’re single.
So to all my single friends and family, I encourage you to go buy yourself some chocolate. Seriously. Buy yourself a present. Even if you don’t like yourself or think it’s selfish, buy yourself something nice; buy a card and write it to yourself. Maybe it’s worthwhile to do these things as simply a peace treaty with your warring soul.
Trust me. It’s worth it.