Three Hail Mary’s; No Rosary for You

By now, everyone knows I don’t sleep well.

My husband’s schedule has shifted back to a day routine, so now I’m trying to get my Night Owl hours adjusted. Not an easy thing for me. My circadian rhythm doesn’t believe in changes.

This week started out in a particularly horrific way; Monday was the psychic tidal of the year for me, and it’s now Thursday with me finally beginning to recover.

Last night, I deduced an interest thing to do in light of the number of people who annoy me- each time I get annoyed, I’ll pray for them. Each time I begin to have a bad trip down memory lane, I’ll pray.

Initially, I thought of dedicating an entire rosary to each individual, but that would put me squarely in the category of praying without ceasing in a very literal way. So I compromised and decided on saying three Hail Mary‘s instead.

Then I discovered something amazing- three Hail Mary‘s is about the length of time I need to reorient my mind away from the negative feelings! In other words, the prayers serve a distraction that break up the normal psychological process that would happen at that point and keep my mind from spiraling out of control.

Anyway. Just some thoughts.




I had this nightmare this morning:

In a version of my childhood home that did not look like it, I had been laying down, trying to go to sleep. I was annoyed because my mother was in the kitchen making too much noise. My brother was also trying to sleep.

At some point, things were mostly back to the way the house actually looks. I walked in the master bedroom; my father was asleep in bed. Perhaps I was headed to the restroom; I can’t recall, but when I walked back out to the living room, my father was also in the living room, on the cream-colored chair. Immediately, I walked back into the bedroom and woke my father to tell him he was also there, that someone was in the house.

My father slowly arose in the bed, and he didn’t seem too concerned or thrilled. I walked back to the living room, and…no one was there.

I looked down the hallway that led to my bedroom, and a figure dresssed in a long cloak was there; the figure wasn’t moving, but just stood. Its robe hung over its face, as did the sleeves over its hands; nothing but a robe, and it does seem like there were some belts or something surrounding it.

Knowing at this point it was a dream, and knowing I had to face the fear, I ran toward it. I “inhaled” the figure, which somehow deflated it. (See the movie Paprika for this trick). I carried it back to my father, who didn’t really respond to it as I showed him.

Then…the house was filled with darkness, dark smokiness and an eerie red light. At the doorway where the kitchen meets the den were two huge glowing red spheres for eyes, just staring at me, infinitely.

I tried to inhale this one, but no such luck.

I began attempting to exorcise it; Father, Son, Holy Spirit; Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit.

This *lessened* the darkness but didn’t purge it. The house was still filled with the red light and black smoke.

And then I awoke.

Needless to say, the dream unnerved me. I have some ideas about the psychological significance but will have to test and verify.


New Plan: “Home” Vegetarian

The new plan for eating a healthy diet is pretty simple: going mostly vegetarian, specifically while I’m at home.

This is fairly easy to explain: no meat (including seafood) if I’m eating at the house with the exception of something like a holiday.

If we go out to eat or eat at someone’s house, I can have meat.

The same rule will apply to things like desserts- no sugary foods at home, but if we’re eating out or if someone serves us dessert, that’s fine.

This seems like a good plan. Let’s see if I can make it happen.


Of Nazis and Idiocy

The “Unite the Right” gathering has had the usual Nazi-sympathizers trying to defend them.

I’ve seen people say the guy who ran his car into the crowd and killed a woman was a Bernie Sanders supporter and a liberal and that the profile of him being a registered Republican that voted for Donald Trump and had excessive interest in Nazi Germany is false.

Because you see, with such people, facts don’t matter. They’re not playing a game of data and facts and mind-changing; they’re living in a fantasy world where they, despite having the power in society, claim they’re oppressed. They live in a fantasy world where all they have to do is go to some nutjob rightwing conspiracy theory website and swallow the garbage there.

I’ve also seen (predictably) people blame Barack Obama for all this. Not Trump, who was the figuredhead and empowering symbol who hasn’t condemend white supremacy- only vaguely alluded to tragedy and somehow that “all sides were wrong.”

I’ve seen at least one person try to make an allusion to the Jewish notion of being God’s chosen people being synonymous with the white supremacy movement in the USA.

I’ve seen a person say, “I hope the person who got killed by the car was a liberal.”

People naturally say, “Oh, you call everyone you don’t like ‘Nazi’!” even though we’re now dealing with actual Nazis, and it’s not up for debate.

The thing is, I understand the white supremacists/white nationalists; I know where they’re coming from, what they’re really saying. The trouble is fairly simple: either they don’t understand how they sound (plausible possibility), or they understand that what they’re saying is an attempted sugarcoating and justification of something far more sinister than they’ll openly admit (strong likelihood).

I understand where they’re coming from- and it’s because I understand where they’re coming from and that I’m a reasonable person that I understand exactly how wrong they are. That’s the troublesome part- it’s appalling that people can be so very wrong and so very stupid about being so very wrong.

The thing is, they won this past election. Their figurehead won and empowered them. They’re still angry. They can’t be appeased or satisfied.

This is not on Obama. This is not on liberals or progressives. The responsiblity for the fucked up shit going on in the nation is squarely on the shoulders of Neo-Nazis who cry oppression.


Minimalism: Let’s Go

To suggest that this blog isn’t a blatant nod to my friend, Canova, would be incorrect because it is…well, in part.

My husband and I have been working on going more minimalist in our home- I’ve rid the kitchen cupboards of a number of  pots, pans, and various items that we either don’t use or have only used a few times and have no real plans to use again. (The pasta maker remains because that will get used again in the future.)

Meanwhile, my husband has gone through our closet and gathered tons of clothing for donation.

The goal here is not to remove and replace- the goal here is to remove and keep the clutter cleaned out. Any human being can only use so much; why have more than you will possibly ever use?

One thing that the minimalists enlightened me on is the notion that it isn’t about just having less, it’s about having things that mean something to you and nothing beyond that. A person who frequently will need more items to cook with than someone who rarely cooks;  a person who rarely cooks only needs a pan and a pot and a stirring spoon in case they want to heat something up.

And that’s the reality- it isn ‘t nearly the problem that people seem to think it is. Having more clutter just to feel bountiful is ridiculous, but that seems to be what’s going on. “Oh, but you might need it one day!” BOLLOCKS, 90% of such things, you’ll never need, and you don’t want them anyway.


Maybe Politics Can Be Weekly?

The attempt to repeal the ACA has failed again, and of course that’s the big news of the week.

But I’m not here to talk about that.

During my lifetime, the GOP had one, ONE thing going for them- they had the image of being the “mature, presentable, sensible” party. They had the “air” of professionalism, and…well…

…with the election of Trump to the presidency, that little mask has come off. We can see, in broad daylight, exactly what the Republicans are, and the ONE THING they had going in their favor, the ONE card they could play, is gone.

I’m not here to celebrate the Democrats like they’re some kind of super liberal party; indeed, I want to check the forehead of people who are under the impression of the Dems being SUPER Leftie. (If I were in the U.K., I would be voting for the Labour Party.)

If anything, the Dems are the Moderate Party; we don’t HAVE a Leftist party in the USA, so there ya go.

Last year, prior to the election, I skimmed through the agendas of both the Dems and the GOP. The most bizarre thing I found was that the Dems had a platform that espoused pretty much all the values of being an American- and I say this coming from the Deep South, from a rural community in Alabama.

But the GOP’s platform was bizarre and disgusting, and I couldn’t believe that someone would actually buy that crap, least of all AMERICANS.

Anyway, so far, so good, the Dems have done a great job obstructing the GOP, and we’ve had a few members of the GOP who’ve taken a stand for sanity as well. Good for them. I’m unsure how I feel about McCain, but I’ve got my eye on him.


Not Posting about Politics is More Difficult than I Imagined It Would Be

Seriously, I’m even avoiding making comments about things, but good grief, this is ridiculous.

On the one hand, one cannot avoid politics- the power structures and dynamics of a society affect us in some way or another. That’s reality. We can’t escape that, and so we have to work with it the best that way we can.

On the other hand, a few things I’ve held to be accurate are still accurate- arguing with strangers online changes no one’s mind, and my tactics of keeping unsavory people out of my life is the best thing I can do. Lay low and strike swiftly and quickly if the need arises, but I’m not trying to go around and start shit.

My tactic of “speaking out” didn’t work. Plain and simple, people who are foolish and avidly advocate against their own best interests just aren’t intelligent and self-aware enough to waste my energy on them. And let me tell you, there’s something incredibly sad seeing people who are twice my age and above who have obviously wasted their entire lives even when they had the opportunity not to.

My block list currently only has three people on it, though, because there’s just no point going through and adding all the people I had blocked before. Honestly, I’m not sure who a lot of those people were or what they did. There’s only like a Big 10 on the shitlist, and right now, most of them are flying outside of my radar.

I did say when I turned 30 I was done with the bullshit, and I’m 32 now and have continued to make good on that promise.

Onward I go. My goal is to make my life better, to make the lives of people around me better, and my paintings seem to be making people smile, giving them a brief thing to have fascination with in the midst of the bizarre state of affairs.